is she nuts?...more love woes

jasmine trias has a song out called "i'd rather". here's how the chorus goes:

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

she's crazy!!! why would you choose to be unhappy? i've always said i'd rather be single and happy, than in a relationship and unhappy. of course the ideal would be happy and in a relationship, but in life you don't always get what you want. the key is wanting what you get. ah-ha! but i guess what she's saying is you can't choose who you fall in love with, and she wants to follow her heart. i hate that!!! my heart is broken...meaning that it's not working right. it chooses the wrong ones....

then again, i should listen to my own advice...i'm unhappy now because i'm choosing to be. i am (or rather, my heart is) CHOOSING men who are either not interested or not available. am i subconsciously sabotaging my own love life? am i afraid to take the risk of being in a relationship with the potential for getting hurt??? maybe...i've cried so many tears and i don't want to cry no more. i'm trying to protect myself from anymore hurt. but at the same time i guess i'm preventing me from being happy as well. oh what a dilemma...

the other day i was thinking about the phrase "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." i think i only partially agree with that. it's a good experience to go through, but to repeat the cycle over and over (loved, lost, loved, lost, loved, lost, etc...), not so good. maybe i'll agree with a modified version: "It's better to have loved and lost once or twice than to never have loved at all." there, that i agree with. :)